JCW Lunacy Legacy Episode 7, by PaperClip Mike

Not one whoop, but whoop whoop! It is your office supply juggalo, Paperclip Mike, with another installment of Lunacy Legay. But first, an apology. I had not realized how long it has been without an article from me, and I owe it to you guys to give you just that. You guys gave me a chance to live a dream, and I lost sight of that. I get to talk about my love of wrestling, particularly old-school retro stuff. So I do owe it to you all to share what I love with you. So with that out of the way, let’s go to episode 7 of…

The show opens backstage with ‘Juggalo’ Joe Galli and Officer Colt Cabana. Colt says he has been coming to JCW for years to arrest Juggalos, and the Michigan Liquor Conduct Code is aware of what 2 Tuff Tony has been doing with the rum he comes to the ring with. Colt says he is coming for Tony tonight, and he is going to pay up for his transgressions.

Cue Intro…

We go to a pre tape with Johnny Kashmere and the JCW tag champs, the New Backseat Boyz. It seems the trio is calling out Kongo Kong and the Redwood Giants for a match of some sort.

We go back to ringside and see Ominous Ramerez and Chris Maludo make their way to the ring with no music, leading to…

MidWest Misfits vs. James Ellsworth in a handicap match

Ugh, thought I was done with Ellsworth. I hope this doesn't go on much longer. This does nothing for me at all. Same couple of moves and a press slam that nearly made him drop the one that is smaller than him! Double splash and it is over. To me this accomplishes absolutely nothing. These Ellsworth moments have been the only real bad spots so far in covering this.

 We come back from the card preview for tonight and… great, Ellsworth gets a promo. This looks like this isn’t over. This isn’t even bad in a good way. This is truly awful.

Kongo Kong and the Redwood Giants w/ John E. Bravo vs. The Backseat Boyz and Johnny Kashmere

Johnny is an original Backseat Boy with the late Trent Acid. However, their opponents jump the tag team champs during the introductions. Tommy Graysoin and Hurtful Kurt (Ben Bishop) start the match, with Kurt using his size and power to hit a huge side slam. Kurt goes for a cover, but stops it himself before tagging in Paul.

Smooth blind tag from Tommy. As Painful Paul is carrying him around, he tags in Kashmere, who hits a top-rope dropkick onto Paul. Love a good blind tag when done right. But a few moments later, Paul takes Johnny’s head off with a big boot before tagging Kurt. As Paul and Kurt go to pick up Johnny, he gets both with a low blow. Johnny is able to low-bridge both Redwoods to have them spill outside, but walks into a sitout piledriver from Kongo for the win. Surely a title shot is in the future for the victors.

Back from break, we go to a vignette from Simon Gotch. Simon says (tee hee) that while other wrestlers have focused on things like aura and charisma, he has spent his career trying to be the best professional wrestler. He says he does not need a specific move or certain hold to prove his point; he can break you at any time. He ends with a line saying that if you can’t hear it, you will feel it. Good stuff.

Simon Gotch vs KJ Reynolds

There is some confusion with Gotch’s opponent, as the announcer and the lower third had different names. He is KJ Reynolds, one half of the tag team Tye or Die, seen all over the Midwest, and is part of the current Wrestling Revolver tag champs.

Gotch walks over and hands Reynolds the wrestling headgear Gotch came to the ring with. Simon then responds with a single-leg takedown and violent crossface punches. Reynolds manages to fight back and go for a cross body, but Simon catches him and lands a fallaway slam. Gotch with some open-hand slaps and a rear naked choke for the victory.

Back from break, and we get an ‘Earlier Today’ from Breyer Wellington. He says JCW keeps giving him bad partners, so he came up with his own partner, his manservant Geeves. Geeves says they are going to take over the tag division. He also says that not only ‘long may they reign’. But they will make it rain.

Breyer Wellington and Geeves vs. Brothers of Funstruction

Yabo tosses a balloon at Breyer and lands a couple of punches to frustrate him. Breyer gets back into the ring and hits a few shots. He went for an Irish whip, but was whipped by Yabo’s tie and eats a dropkick. Ruffo tags in, but Breyer gets in an arm wringer on him, and Ruffo pulls a scarf out of his sleeve. Breyer gets a bodyslam, then one to Geeves as the BoF feed Breyer some popcorn to the amusement of the crowd, before a knuckle sandwich.

The clowns continue the beating by running Wellington into a big boot and a double leg drop from both men. Ruffo goes to blow up a balloon, but is stopped before Breyer tags in Geeves. Yabo pulls out a rubber chicken, tossing it to Ruffo, kicking Geeves in the gut before smacking him with the chicken as the commentary team makes several cock references. A bit more schtick before the Brothers hit the Whoop Whoop Driver on Geeves for the win.

We then get the next Shaggy’s Spotlight as Shaggy 2 Dope gives us a look at JCW OG Mad Man Pondo.

Officer Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony

Colt is coming out again with his minion, Deputy Dickhead (Ryan Matthias). Tony is coming out with not one bottle of rum to share with the crowd; he has two. Tony has an entrance that rivals the Sandman in how long it is.

This match takes no time to go to the outside. Tony grabs Colt and walks him around, letting the kids ringside chop Colt. One kid even slaps Colt in the face, which cracked me up. Tony gets Colt back in the ring and lands the ten corner punches. And to the surprise of everyone, including me, Tony lands a pele kick! Tony goes for another set of corner punches, but Colt slips out and drops Tony to the mat.

Colt goes for a flying nothing with the expected results as Tony lands a sliding kick. Tony then lands a springboard moonsault for a close call. Tony then sets up for the Meteorite but is rolled up by Colt for another close call. With the ref distracted, Colt cracks Tony in the head with a Mag Light for the win

Overall, this was my least favorite episode so far. However, outside of Ellsworth, it wasn’t bad; there was no real meat on the bones. The matches were quick, and outside of the main event, the winner was never in question. Still looking forward to the next episode. Until then, follow me on all my socials under the same name and I will be right here for the next show.