It's REEL To Me Dammit: Ready to Rumble by PaperClipMike

Celebrity involvement in wrestling is not new. There have been famous wrestling fans as far back as nearly wrestling goes. While most assume that there was no true involvement between these two worlds until Wrestlemania I and the ‘Rock n’ Wrestling’ combination, it goes further back. Look up the time Andy Kauffman came to Memphis and got into it with Jerry Lawler. This was so huge at the time, that it even made “Late Night with David Letterman”, in an infamous segment where Lawler slaps Kauffman live on set. Hell, one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammad Ali, was openly a wrestling fan and at one point was put in an airplane spin by Gorilla Monsoon. So, seeing celeb involvement in WCW was not new.

Now if you asked me my all-time favorite promotion, it would be WCW, no hesitation. Especially pre-Nitro from about 1990 to 1995. A good part of my all-time favorites were there around that time, including my all-time favorite, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. I mentioned last time that one of my all-time favorite stables was the Dangerous Alliance. Came from this era. If you searched deep enough, you could find banger after banger after banger…

So in 2000, well past their prime run of dominance, Warner Brothers and WCW got together and brought us the cinematic classic, “Ready to Rumble”. There have been several movies about professional wrestling for decades. Some of them had wrestling be 100% fully real and others had it be 100% pre-determined. “Ready to Rumble” does the rare thing where it makes wrestling both real and ‘fake’ at the same time. In what seems to be a trend here at IRTMD, this is not a good movie. Is it enjoyable? Yes. But is it anything other than another ‘empty calorie’ movie? Not at all. But you can still have a good time if you like wrestling.

The movie starts with our heroes Gordie and Sean, played by David Arquette and Scott Caan respectively, as they talk to some kids outside a convenience store about wrestling and their favorite wrestler, Jimmy King. To be honest, Gordie and Sean do come across as being a couple of knobs, but well-meaning knobs. As someone who spent years doing 3rd shift at a gas station, I have seen some stuff. Hell, at one point I was in both a rap video and a student film. But these kinds of guys would have been welcomed. Would I have rolled my eyes? Sure. But would it have made my day go by faster? Also yes.

Anyway, the two besties get tickets to see Nitro in nearby Cheyenne, Wyoming. Not only do they get nosebleed seats (been there), but Gordie is sitting behind a pillar (not been there). They are there to see their hero, Jimmy King, played by Oliver Platt. Now Jimmy has not only been undefeated for many years, he is the world champ. Tonight he is defending on Nitro against Diamond Dallas Page. But before DDP goes out to the ring, he is stopped by the promoter, Titus Sinclair, played by Joe Pantoliano, who does his version of the Montreal Screwjob. Now Sinclair was supposed to be Eric Bischoff, who was going to play an exaggerated version of himself. This was a pet project of his, but he was fired from WCW before the movie was made but was hired back by the time it was released in theatres. Crazy how life works, huh?

So, Jimmy is told that the match will end with the usual finish, but he tells DDP the real finish because he wants to get the belt off of Jimmy. So during the match, Sinclair gives the signal with the real finish. So not only does DDP go into business for himself, but a bunch of wrestlers come in for a ‘Four-Post Massacre” Being there for this sets off Gordie and Sean. It sets them off so much that they crash their car on the way home. It also happens to be their work vehicle, a very full septic truck.

Now, Sean and Gordie are very much IWC-coded before IWC was a thing. After this do they…

1. Complain on the internet

2. Boo DDP on tv

3. Buy more Jimmy King merch to support  Or...

      D. Show up to Jimmy’s house.

If you said anything other than D, do you know how the IWC works? Being the parasocial gentlemen that they are, they find his address and go to his house. Now this next message is for the creep, weirdo IWC fans. If you are a normal grounded person person who has boundaries, this is not for you. But for the rest of you…

So Jimmy tells them the awful truth they need to hear. Wrestling is not as real as they think it is. But they can’t get it through their concrete skulls that is just a spectacle. Even through all of this, they convince Jimmy to show up to the next Nitro, which happens to be in (not) Madison Square Garden, which would never happen as WWE was the only company to use MSG up to a few years ago. So in one week, they managed to go from Wyoming to Georgia to NYC. Where did the money come from? Confused yet? Try this on for size.

So Gordie and Sean are able to bypass security by bringing in a port a john with Jimmy inside. Now while Nitro is live and Titus and DDP are doing a backstage segment, Jimmy comes out of the port a john and attacks DDP. Oh, I almost forgot, earlier Jimmy told Gordie and Sean that he had quit wrestling. But now, he wants a title shot even though he gave up wrestling. So even though Jimmy has no right to any shot. Kincaid gives it to him at the next PPV in a steel cage. Also, Jimmy will get one million dollars if he wins. So is wrestling real or kayfabe? No clue. Did you get all of that? Me either.

What happens next? Well, you will have to come by next week because there is a lot to unpack in this movie. Until then, see you next week!