Yo what's cracking people of the webernets, gangstas, and thugstas, and playas, it's been a long week and it's only Tuesday. We're fresh off last night's three hours of wrestling programming. Main Event Jey Uso was recently in a city close to my hometown and boy do I regret not going to last night's RAW. A hell of show was capped off with what I see as Jey Uso's second greatest moment of his career by becoming the new WWE Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion. I'll YEET to that.
YEET!
Round of applause and YEETs all around as Main Event Jey Uso has finally captured singles Gold for the first time in his career. A dependable journeyman turned dependable main eventer, Jey Uso not only rose to the top of the ranks but has remained so for the last three to four years. And it took alot of work to get there. Jey Uso has 10 Tag Team Championship reigns to his name. Not to mention Jey and Jimmy hold the record for longest tag team championship reign at 622 days.
And at Clash of the Champions 2020, Jey Uso took on the biggest challenge of his career.
They say all roads lead to Rome, in this case all roads lead to Roman Reigns. And it was against Roman Reigns where Jey Uso proved he could hang with the best of the best and was more than worthy of a Heavyweight Championship reign. And it was against Roman Reigns where Jey would evolve into Main Event Jey Uso. And the rest, is historee.
Fast forward four years and Main Event Jey Uso has gone on to carry his own as well as an established main eventer does, if not better. Not only that, but Main Event Jey Uso is now one of the top babyfaces in WWE that gets the crowd, and announcers, on their feet every single time his music hits. Dont let a one word catch phrase fool ya cause Main Event Jey Uso can certainly go in the ring and only continues to get better. Main Event Jey Uso is well on his way to becoming one of the best. And to be the best, you gotta beat the best. And today's Intercontinental Heavyweight Division is loaded with talent as well as plenty of others that are starting to pick up some steam and rising in the ranks. Main Event Jey Uso is gonna be putting in alot of work as the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion and we're all here for it. And we all know what we came here for.
LETS GET TO IT YALL!!
BROWN'S FIVE AT 5
VOLUME 2 / ISSUE 8
FIVE MATCHES FOR JEY USO'S WWE INTERCONTINENTAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
5. ILJA DRAGUNOV
This one's bound to happen again. Dont wait on it. Pull the trigger immediately. Book Main Event Jey Uso vs Ilja Dragunov for the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship for the September 30th episode of Monday Night RAW. These two will main event and go to war a good 25 minutes and tear the roof off the building. And the reason this match has to happen will be due to the convenience of the timing for the finish. Bron Breakker will be lurking and hungry to get his championship back and will stop at nothing til he gets a rematch. Neither man loses when Breakker runs interference, but both Ilja and Jey prove they're both as dangerous as the other.
4. XAVIER WOODS
I've wanted Kofi to turn heel for the longest time, and with the addition of Odyssey Jones I thought he would turn on Xavier and chase Gold on his own. Intead, we now have a new Xavier Woods who is showing the effects of what Karrion Kross' words have done to him. Xavier Woods has turned into a much more serious character and after last night's RAW, The Great Brown Hope can say he's a fan. And after Woods beats Mysterio next week, Xavier Woods can surely make a good case to be a worthy challenger for Jey Uso's Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship. Xavier Woods is starving for Gold in the meanest way, and Main Event Jey Uso is gonna be stepping up to stay ahead of the long line of challengers, and Bron Breakker. Main Event Jey Uso defeats Xavier Woods but helps Woods look like a credible main eventer in the process and we get another solid main event. And we get to see what a heel Xavier Woods can do. It's a New Day, yes it is.
3. DIRTY DOMINIK MYSTERIO
Main Event Jey Uso has sorta aligned himself with Damian Priest and Rhea Ripley, and with that he has inherited their beef with the New Judgment Day. Dirty Dom is a former two time North American Heavyweight Champion and a former tag team champion, so he's held more singles Gold than Main Event Jey Uso. And i dont wanna hear it, i dont care if it was NXT cause he was defending that championship on RAW, NXT, and Smackdown, so it counts. Another match worthy of the main event slot and the last 45 minutes of the night, Jey and Dom will utilize their fast high flying offense to ohs and ahs from the spectators. Dom has gone up against the best and continues to improve and show why he deserves all the in ring, mic, and screen time he gets. A fun match ends with shenanigans as Ripley and Priest chase away NJD, Jey hits an Uso Splash and picks up the 1, 2, 3. Jey Uso retains and gets speared by Bron Breakker at the end of the match.
2. JOHN CENA
Once Main Event Jey Uso gets past Bron Breakker, he'll need a new opponent. And yes I know I have John Cena on Five at 5 all the time, but those other times it was Thuganomics Cena, pay attention!
John Cena has never held the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship. The storee literally writes itself but im gonna write it anyway. Main Event Jey Uso cuts a promo about becoming the best Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of all time, and he wants to beat the best. Main Event Jey Uso calls out John Cena, stating he wants to have the honor of being part of the John Cena's retirement tour. Cena makes himself visible and we got ourselves a match. But I'd definitely save this one for Wrestlemania. John Cena comes out with a new shirt, new hat, new wristbands, new Reebok Pumps, and some new Enyce jean shorts to massive uproar. Main Event Jey Uso enters with a pop just as loud, if not louder. The only difference is there will be Jey Uso foam hands in the crowd, not John Cena foam hands. The match kicks off and the kids and the adults have no idea who to root for. We got ourselves a Rocky vs Hogan at Wrestlemania like moment as they stare each down as Cena tells Jey to take it all in, cause he made it.
1. SAMI ZAYN
A tale as old as time.
If it's anything the Fed has been excelling at, it's cinema. And these two go a hell of a long way. From Jey Uso wanting Sami Zayn out of the Bloodline to defending him in Tribal Court, Jey Uso and Sami Zayn were made for each other. A friendship that has blossomed into a brotherhood and a beautiful storee. Sami Zayn is a multi-time Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion. Jey Uso played a part in helping Sami Zayn achieve his Wrestlemania moment when he and Kevin Owens captured the tag titles. Now it's time for Sami to return the favor. Sami Zayn vs Jey Uso for the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship is a PLE main event. Two of today's biggest babyfaces go at it in a duel for not only respect, but also for the love of seeing other succeed. Main Event Jey Uso gets the victory and shares an embrace with his brother, Sami Uso, and everyone goes home happy.
Thanks for reading y'all! It's always a pleasure to do this for yall so we gonna keep on doing til the wheels fall off the wagon.
Wanna send a special shoutout to my brother Chard, as he has been down with the Yeet Movement since the very beginning. Be sure to shoot him a follow in Twitter @JimenezChard.
Dont forget to follow The Great Brown Hope at his socials below. And tell your friends to follow The Great Brown Hope too! Dont forget to hit the heart button at the bottom. And dont forget to brush your teeth.
(this chapter of Storee Time with The Great Brown Hope has been brought to you by Four Loko. Drink Four Loko.)
Playlist
Tony! Toni! Toné! and DJ Quik "Let's Get Down"
DJ Quik ft. Suga Free, Mausberg, and AMD "Dowm, Down, Down"
Kurupt ft. Nate Dogg and Roscoe "Girls All Pause"
Timbaland ft. Missy Elliott, Justin Timberlake, and Dr. Dre "Bounce"
Chamillionaire ft. Lil Flip "Turn It Up"
Lil Scrappy ft. Lil Jon "Head Bussa"
TrillVille ft. Lil Scrappy and Lil Jon "Neva Eva"
50 Cent ft. Jeremih "Still Think I'm Nothing"
Lloyd Banks ft. 50 Cent "Hands Up"
Layzie Bone "Listen"
Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. ft. Layzie Bone "Mafia Lifestyle"
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