What up everybody. It's almost the weekend. We almost there y'all. I know the weeks seem longer than usual in these odd times, but the strongest of soldiers will always persevere no matter the circumstance. Stay tough big dawg, I see you pimp juice. We gonna get ours. We Ouchea.
If it's one thing I know, it's that no matter what anyone says, pro wrestling has a hell of a hold on media and entertainment. Anywhere, everywhere, whenever, wherever, you're bound to see some mention of wrestling or someone in a wrestling shirt.
Wrestling is literally everywhere. Wrestling is cool again!! And wrestling continues to transcend into other forms of media in way of tv shows and movies with influences drawn from wrestling's larger than life characters. From No Holds Barred to The Wrestler, stars of Hollywood have laced up their wrestling boots to take on the task of playing a wrestler/sports entertainer.
Some go the distance and go through a grueling training process to be not only fit, but skilled enough to play the part. Taking the bumps and bruises necessary to add more realism to their characters, while also paying their dues to earn their place in the ring, even if it just a movie or show. Others are naturally gifted to play any and every character and may not need to go through the physically demanding scenes as to keep their stock, and insurance, where it's supposed to be. Those contracts these Hollywood folks sign can be very wordy and tricky, all in the name of protecting their best interests. And while not all characters are memorable, some characters are truly unforgettable. Some characters are legends in their rights, with legends that deserve to be told.
LETS GET TO IT YALL!!
BROWN'S FIVE AT 5
VOLUME 3 / ISSUE 1
FIVE WRESTLERS IN MOVIES AND TV SHOWS
5.SHREK (with Donkey the Talking Donkey in his corner)
We've all seen Shrek. We all love Shrek. But what we all dont know is where in the hell did Shrek learn all those moves, amirite? Shrek was just an owner of land that kept to himself and wanted the fairytale creatures that were dropped off on his land gone. The One Ogre Gang himself embarked on a mission to visit Lord Farquad and was booked into a first kill gauntlet match against the Lord's forces. This gauntlet would be a tornado gauntlet, Shrek vs Everyone with his life on the line, literally. One by One, each soldier that charged at Shrek was disposed of with ease and Shrek use an array of maneuvers including but not limited to, a flawless vertical suplex, a neck breaking pilediver, and a crushing full nelson. Shrek would emerge victorious and become the first, last, and ONLY champion of Duloc. Shrek is yet to be seen in a wrestling ring since, but with his training there is no telling what Shrek could have accomplished in the Duloc Indy Scene. Shrek would then be awarded with the task of rescuing a princess from a tower, and the rest is historee.
4.THE HUMAN-SPIDER / SPIDER-MAN
Our boy Peter Parker had just been bitten by a scientifically engineered spider and was learning to live with his new talents. But all young heroes need love, and Parker wanted to impress Mary Jane. Parker wanted to buy a fly ride and was gonna run the ropes in a local wrestling promotion for a chance at some prize money. It's totally in the bag right?
WRONG
Not only did they get Peter's name wrong, but they never told him he'd be wrestling in a cage match. Booking on the fly or were they looking to sabotage The Human Spider's wrestling career before it took off? And that wasn't a normal cage, that cage was made of Size 5 nonweldable rebar. I would know, I used to be an ironworker. But anyway, now The Human Spider had to survive three minutes in the ring against fan favorite Bone Saw, played by the great Macho Man Randy Savage.
The Human Spider would mock Bone Saw and end up eating four chair shots and being thrown against a wall of REAL steel. Parker would hit a series of kicks Daniel Bryan Danielson would surely be proud of. Bone Saw would charge a floored Parker who then hits a double kick to the gut and sends Mr. Saw into the cage's REAL steel. The Human Spider would walk away with the victory, and his life, in what would be his only match. Perhaps them getting his name wrong and not being advised of the booking change had to factor into him never returning to wrestle again. The Human Spider would then take the name he was given and become a superhero, the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
3.ACE SPADE / THE CONDAMNED
First of all , you are truly missing out if you haven't watched Heels and you're fan of wrestling. Alot of wrestling shows and movies seem to follow the same formula, which then ends up making said shows and movies either too similar or too boring. But Heels strays from that formula and follows a more drama based chemistry that allows it to incorporate it's show material into the storees told in the ring. Led by Stephen Amell as Jack Spade, the cast of this show comes off as either geniune wrestling fans, not just based on their characters but their in-ring abilities as well. These folks truly put in the work to prove they aren't just playing another role. Alexander Ludwig is Ace Spade, the brother of Jack Spade, and son of King Spade. Ace feels he is the heir to the throne his father left for them in the form of the DWL's World Heavyweight Championship. Ludwig, who also played Bjorn in Vikings, to me has always done an amazing job of playing the cocky and entitled son of King. Starving to be acknowledged and impatient to prove himself, Ludwig taps into a character he once played and incorporates it into this character of a future wrestling star. Ace Spade believes he should be the champion of their indy promotion, but Jack Spade thinks otherwise. Ace does an incredible job of portraying the character that wants to be a heel but has to play the face because it's what his brother, Head Booker Jack Spade, thinks is best for business. And after a title match gone wrong, Ace Spade is able to put aside his own needs and beef with his brother to put someone else over to save their brand. Ace temporarily leaves the promotion, only to return in time to save the DWL from invading rival promotion FWD as The ConDamned.
Ace Spade is a fun character to root against, all thanks to the natural abilities of Alexander Ludwig. Dude can go in the ring and looks good doing it too. I could go on for hours about this show, but that's another storee for another day.
2.GREEN BASTARD
Sun is out, Cheryl the Crow is chirping, Lahey is pissing himself, and the Bottle Kids are throwing bottles at somebody. Never a dull day in SunnyVale Trailer Park.
Fans of the show have helped it develop a cult like following, turning the Trailer Park Boys show into its own brand. A brand with a core of characters that continues to adapt and grow with the times. Flashback to it's early beginnings and we were introduced to The Green Bastard from Parts Unknown (same place Kane and The Ultimate Warrior are from), a no nonsense, alien suplexing, double clotheslining, ass kicker. Trailer Park Supervisor Ricky would throw a Park Appreciation Day of sorts, booking J-Roc to headline a concert, along with building a wrestling ring. The Green Bastard would make his in-ring debut teaming with Ricky to take on Randy (Bobandy) and Jim Lahey for the rights to the Trailer Park Supervisor position. The Green Bastard is a legend in his own right and would make appearances throughout the series, further cementing his legacy.
A tough son of a whore, The Green Bastard would have been a legend in not only backyard wrestling, but also perhaps in the independent scene. Should The Green Bastard had entered the Hart Dungeon to further his training, there is no telling just how far The Green Bastard could have truly gone. For now his record remains at 0-1 in tag competition, but has yet to eat a pin as a solo Superstar. Maybe we'll see him in the 2026 Royal Rumble.
1.NACHO (with Esqueleto in his corner)
I am, I am. I am, I am. I think I am. I thank I am. I'm glad I am. I'm proud I am, a real religious man.
Nacho Libre, to me at least, is a very special film. Based on the true story of Sergio Gutiérrez Benítez, a priest who founded an orphanage, and wrestled at night as Fray Tormenta to support said orphanage. Jack Black plays the role of Nacho, the character based on Fray Tormenta. Nacho wished to provide more for the children of the orphanage, and would come up with a plan to do so by ways of entering the Lucha Libre indy scene with his new friend Esqueleto.
Naho and Esqueleto would quickly become fan favorites, rising in popularity despite their never-ending losing streak. Nacho would use his winnings on the children of the orphanage and at times for spoiling himself as well. Nacho would keep his new identity and career from the people of the orphanage, making his luchador mask and identity even more sacred. And even after being discovered and falling out with his superiors, Nacho would still continue on his mission to give more to the children he cared so much about. All Nacho needed was one big break.
Nacho would take on Ramses, after Ramses' scheduled opponent was taken out behind the scenes by Esqueleto, in a championship caliber match for a bag of dolla dolla bills yall. But Nacho was truly no match for the Great Ramses, played by the great Silver King, and had to dig deep to hang with the champ. And just when it seemed his newly acquired eagle powers weren't enough to conquer his foe, Encarnacion and the orphans would make their presence known to not only give Nacho the strength he needed, but to remind him of his noble mission. And with that he was able to defeat Ramses and finally claim a victory. And with that victory, Nacho took his winnings and purchased a bus for the orphanage. A truly heart warming comedy that still holds a special place in my heart today. A regular reminder that wrestling isnt always about the championships and the big, bright Hollywood lights. If you're gonna fight, it may as well be for something that matters.
Thanks for reading y'all. Dont forget to follow The Great Brown Hope on all his socials. And follow us on our Main Event Wrestling Network socials as well at our linktree below.
Dont forget to hit that heart button at the bottom. And dont forget to brush your teeth. See y'all again soon.
(this chapter of Storee Time with The Great Brown Hope has been brought to you by Four Loko. Drink Four Loko.)
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Playlist
Gorillaz ft. Thundercat "Cracker Island"
Half Cocked "Bad Reputation"
Alien Ant Farm "Attitude"
Ghost "Faith"
Coincidental Minors ft. Todd Kerns "Run to the Lightning"
Rush "Closer to the Heart"
Mister Loco "Religious Man"
BRONCHO "Sandman"
Kanye West ft. Jeezy "Amazing"
Twenty One Pilots "Next Semester"
The Strokes "The Adults Are Talking"
The Growlers "Late Bloomers"
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony "Secret Agent Man"
Sharon Van Etten and The Attachment Theory "Southern Life (What It Must Be Like)"
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