BROWN'S FIVE AT 5 / Vol.3, Issue 8: It Should Have Been Me
- The Great Brown Hope
- 3 hours ago
- 6 min read
What's crackalackin yall, I hope this finds you in a solid peace of mind. We stay ouchea and we stay moving cause you aint gotta get ready if you stay ready. And I hope you're ready for a brand new edition of.....
Welp, here we are. We've made it to the last stop of the Unseen Seventeen Express. You're never really prepared for days like this cause they never tell us when they're leaving. But not this time. We got treated to a tournament to determine who would be John Cena's final opponent.
And instead of being presented a full bracket up front, we were kept on our toes as to who would be in the tournament. Announcements made mere days before Raw or SmackDown were met with either obligated approval or moans and groans. And the closer we got to the end of the first round, a light bulb went off.
Off the top I could already think of three people that hadn't EVER had a one on one match with Cena throughout John Cena's career, one of them being in this tournament. Not gonna count some of those names for obvious reasons as they were either not in the fed or not on the main roster during a consistent Cena tenure BEFORE his retirement tour. Otherwise this list would be a whole lot longer. And so I did the digging, I did the work and worked the numbers and carried the FIVE. And after the dust and pencil shavings settled, I came up with five, that's right, FIVE, superstars to have never had a ONE ON ONE match against John Cena. And truly, any one of them would have made a great final dance partner.
LETS GET TO IT YALL!!
BROWN'S FIVE AT 5
VOLUME 3 / ISSUE 8
FIVE SUPERSTARS WITHOUT A ONE ON ONE MATCH AGAINST JOHN CENA
5.OMOS
Look, before you start running your mouth, in 2021 Cena was working Raw and SD Dark Matches and working the house show circuit in addition to his limited TV appearances. So the possibility of Cena vs Omos was always there. Hell, this would have made a fun attraction that could have given Cena another win during his retirement tour. We've seen Cena take on the Goliathest of Goliaths and that's part of what makes him larger than life. We closing the curtain without a Cena vs Omos match, a now unfortunate realization to myself and my fellow Omosapiens. Cena executing an F-U to the biggest boss the fed has had in quite some time would have made a hell of a Topps Now card if you ask me.
4.ANGELO DAWKINS
I get it, you're probably starting to think i'm just listing my faves. Sure, but I dare you to go and find five others. And besides, you know Imma show my dawg Lo-D some love every chance I get. And also because John Cena has had a house show match against Montez Ford, and not Angelo Dawkins. I hear it all the time, even when I'm right every time about Dawkins being the one with the most potential. You take a guy with a decorated collegiate wrestling background, a guy who went thru the NXT system for years until he found his character, a guy who has excelled in singles competition against the best of the best and you put him up against John Cena, the greatest of all time. If anyone could have used a rub from a one on one match with Cena, even if it wasn't Cena's last match, it was Angelo Dawkins.
3.DREW MCINTYRE
That's right, even on the house show circuit, it's never happened. It gets even crazier from here, trust me. Run DrewMC has evolved into quite the superstar, and i dont think he's even hit his prime yet. I've watched Drew grow up, and bulk up, just about as long as I have witnessed Cena on television. Once deemed The Chosen One, Drewpeche Mode has come into his own not only as a reliable journeyman, but a certified main eventer to fill any slot on any card on any night. Cena vs McIntyre feels like one of those bouts that old VMC was keeping in his back pocket and had it ready to go at the snap of a finger. A match with this kind of star power is what you read about in stories of unrivaled greatness. A man that was once hand picked to one day carry the company never went up against the man that was chosen to carry the company for decades. What could have been a passing of the torch tournament will now be but a dream of a midsummer night. Truly a shame.
2.JEY USO
Looking at the bracket and current storeelines, I didn't pencil in Jey Uso to win the tournament. I already had Jey Uso penciled in for this specific piece, so seeing him in the semis had me scared that this blog might need another person to fill one of the coveted Five at 5 spots.
And right now, with the fans feeling a certain way about Jey, it may not be the best idea to have had him be Cena's last opponent. And Jey Uso don't wanna love you if you dont love Jey. But it is indeed fact that Jey Uso and John Cena have never squared off in a one on one encounter, believe that. Usos were always heavy on the tag scene, and Jey wasn't really appearing in singles action til the 2020s. Would we then have called this to be something we'd witness within 10 years or so? Probably not. If Jey Uso were still a tag team competitor, Uso vs. Cena wouldn't feel like that big of a deal. Jey Uso is a former World Heavyweight and Intercontinental Heavyweight champion, solidifying his Main Event Jey Uso moniker. And now that Jey Uso has been eliminated from the tournament, this one on one encounter will be another one of those dream match scenarios that people will talk about in 10 years time. Yeet.
1.KOFI KINGSTON
Kofi Kingston debuted on WWECW and was being groomed to be the next babyface on Raw or Smackdown. Originally the master of the Boom! Boom! Boom!, Kofi Kingston has been around just about as long as John Cena, only a handful of years ahead. Kofi Kingston aint no slouch in the ring, the man has been sick with it since day one, some of yall just never noticed. All you people, cant you see, cant you see? Kingston was a natural that was easy to root for, he just needed the right character. But in this case, his in-ring work did the talking and he won championship after championship. Kofi Kingston's first taste of gold came upon winning the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship, a championship that took Cena decades to capture!
I hear em shoutin' indeed. Kingston was over enough to remain a regular face on mainstream programming. Kofi remained at the top of the midcard, even once teasing a main event breakthrough with a rivalry with Randall "Not Bandit" Keith Orton. Years of tag team success also pencils him in as an all time great in tag competition as well. And in his early days, they weren't gonna book two big babyfaces against each other when there's plenty of bad guys for both to dispose of in their respective rosters or divisions. Although once teased during the 40 Man Royal Rumble, Stryker even mentioned the two had never had a one on one match, and to this day this still remains true. With the tournament I was hoping Kofi Kingston would be announced and just maybe come out the winner. With Cena around, Kofi always had a ceiling over him that he didn't break through til Cena wasn't as active in the ring. The injustice of being robbed of this one on one encounter would have been a true once in a lifetime matchup. Kofimania vs. Cenation, one night only. But now, you have no no, more more, time.
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(this chapter of Storee Time with The Great Brown Hope has been brought to you by Four Loko. Drink Four Loko.)
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