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Writer's pictureDoug Driesel Jr.

MORE WRESTLERS SHOULD BE NAKED MIDEON

Dennis Knight.


Gross hillbilly.


Demonic soothsayer.


Tag team also ran.


Naked guy with a fanny pack.

Custom trading cards are an exciting and trademark infringing hobby!

Dennis Knight first made his splash in the World Wrestling Federation in 1996. This was toward the end of the period of time where Vince thought wrestlers should have day jobs, and disgusting pig farmer was as legitimate a job as tax accountant and bad dentist in the old man's eyes.

*insert inappropriate joke here*

The Godwinns were born when Knight became Phineas I. Godwinn and would team with his cousin (later brother) Henry O. Godwinn. They were tasked to run around and be gross hillbillies that babyfaces could throw about and occasionally throw slop on people.


When The Attitude Era rolled around, wrestlers kind of stopped having day jobs. I like to call it "The Great Unemployening!" Henry and Phineas would eventually drop their gimmick and run as Southern Justice, but Mark Canterbury (the wrestler behind Henry) kept herniating a disc in his back, so he retired.


Suddenly, Dennis was a pig without a poke.

*insert the exact same inappropriate joke, but with different wording*

Suddenly, The Undertaker (I like to call him 'Taker, because it makes it sound like we know each other) started gathering up other wrestlers and turning them evil. They grabbed Dennis and turned him into the soothsayer Mideon.

'Taker's second choice for soothsayer.

Because being a soothsayer is all dark and mysterious, Mideon got to be quiet a lot, which gave him a mystique. But, as time went on, the Ministry mixed with The Corporation, and suddenly there's a lot of people on screen with Mideon at all times.


He managed to stand out in that era by playing dumb. My favorite thing to ever happen with Mideon (while he was clothed) was when he asked Shane O'Mac to borrow a belt to hold up his pants, then later shows up wearing the long-retired European belt. Suddenly, the European championship was just a thing again.

Imagine how the world would be different if Jimbo Jones became The Ministry's soothsayer. Chaos would reign supreme because suddenly cartoons are real.

Soon after that, The Ministry and Corporate Ministry were all but done. The storyline concluded, and The Ministry went off to their separate ways. The Acolytes would become APA. 'Taker (we're friends!) bought a motorcycle. Paul Bearer probably got some iced cream. And Viscera and Mideon started teaming up because what else are they gonna do?


Toward the end of The Attitude Era, The Hardy Boyz, Edge and Christian, & The Dudleyz are all anyone cared about in the tag team division. If you were a Holly Cousins, APA, Kai En Tai, or Perry Saturn and Moppy, you'd be relegated to Sunday Night Heat, where you got time to shine and be funny unless there was a PPV on that night.

Tonight's program will be preempted for 45 minutes of PPV wrestlers showing up in their cars.

It was at that point that Dennis Knight did something that would change the course of my life forever. He showed up to a shoot meet-and-greet with just a fanny pack covering his junk.


Vince McMahon has a weird sense of humor, so guess what?

Dennis Knight's butt.

Naked Mideon was born. He would have a handful of matches in his career as Naked Mideon, but each one that I saw is etched into my mind as comedy gold.


William Regal, Kurt Angle, and William Regal again. Nobody who took themselves too seriously as a character was immune to the Fanny Pack. And Knight. Was. Game. He seemed to eat up every minute of it, and the crowd popped every time he'd tear away his pants.


Knight's ability to move between vastly different characters is, to me, what makes a great wrestler. Sure, skills and strength are important. But what's all that without the ability to be anyone else at a moment's notice?

You become an Insane Clown Posse song.

Knight would go on to wrestle for a brief time in Total Nonstop Action before retiring. He's recently come into some health troubles that caused him to lose the toes on his right foot.


Thank you for your service, Naked Mideon. I am truly grateful that you bared your ass on national television for all to see.

Rule of threes, mon ami.

@greencircleyall on all the socials.

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