Basket of Tapes: August 30, 1999 RAW IS WAR pt. 01

Ahoy, y'all! 'Tis I, your old pal Doug.

Can you believe *this* guy watches wrestling?

THIS ARTICLE IS A PLAY-BY-PLAY OF THE FIRST HOUR OF RAW IS WAR FROM AUGUST 30, 1999. IF YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP TO THAT POINT, STOP READING NOW.

If I have a passion that is not wrestling, and I do, it's VHS tapes. Love 'em. I could go on and on about why. But I want you to keep reading this article, so let's just take it as read that I think VHS tapes are the bee's knees.

Everyone knows what a VHS tape is, even if they only understand the idea of "the thing before DVDs." But, if you are not of a certain age, you might not remember sold-as-blank VHS tapes. These were blank tapes that we would use to DVR our programs. Am I explaining this right, people with children? Is DVR still a thing? Should I call it a TikTok?

A real-time image of me digressing.

The point is, we had a machine that hooked up to the television. We would record our programs on it, and then, theoretically, watch them again. Usually, they collected dust on a shelf. The past was BETTER THAN THE NOW!

Anywho, I collect those dusty tapes now. I digitize them, then trade them away or make dupes or do whatever.

At some point in my life, I got a big box of tapes containing almost six months worth of Monday night wrestling from 1999.

Today begins a sojourn into the original August 30th, 1999 broadcasts of RAW and NITRO. Part one contains the first hour of RAW (officially called "Raw is War"). The next four parts will contain the last hour of RAW (offically called "Warzone") and all three, grueling hours of NITRO.

PLUS: COMMERCIAL BREAKS!

Giving the people what they want: Capitalism!

PRE-SHOW

The US Open closes up with literally seconds of the announcer saying goodbye, then a montage of moments from the event with the end theme.

A quick news update later, then we are treated to the TRUE RAW THEME SONG!

What has caused this thorn in your eye?!?!?!

Straight from the Fleet Center in Boston, The Rock books it down to the ring.

The Rock does The Rock things and says The Rock things. He's mad because of PREVIOUSLY ON WRESTLING, and wants to beat up Triple H, who is the WWF champion at the time.

Seriously thought it was *this* guy.

Trips doesn't come out when called, so Dwayne beats feet to the back. He searches the make-up room, yelling at no one in particular as he kicks open doors. Then, the first corner he has to turn around--TRIPLE H BELT ATTACK!

Paul Levesque featuring the Chyna and Shane McMahon experience play their hit "Kicking a Man While He's Down" until Mankind, wearing his finest in powder blue sweat pants, interrupts the festivities to start an I Hate Triple H party.

This causes Shane to march to the ring, followed by the limping Mean Street Posse (Pete Gas, Rodney, Joey Abs). At this point, there has not been a single commercial break.

The Brooklyn Brawler could beat these guys.

Shane proudly announces that if Mankind and The Rock want a shot at Triple H that night, they could get it. IF they beat a different opponent first. The Rock will have to beat 'Taker in a No DQ match later, and Foley has to take on the Mean Street Posse in a three-on-one match that I could probably do.

The match starts with Shane announcing himself as the special guest referee. The match goes...about as you'd imagine. Foley wins to the point of MSP cheating, and then he turns the cheating on them.

Shane refuses the count, so he gets a crotch sock in the mouth (WRESTLING!). DQ for Mankind. Triple H comes down to interfere because of testosterone, I guess,

We see a quick interview with tag team champs 'Taker and Big Show, where 'Taker gives one of the most clunky promos I've ever seen, and Big Show stands there and looks vaguely interested.

'Taker enters the ring with BIg Show and Paul Bearer. He has a really hard time talking as he explains that Big Show will be taking on The Rock instead.

Big Show, as confused as always, gets thrown around by The Rock while Jim Ross conducts an Undertaker interview on commentary. 'Taker will go after Triple H in due time and Big Show sucks and needs to suck less seem to be 'Taker's main points.

The Rock knocks Show down just long enough to smack talk 'Taker, so it becomes Show & Taker vs. The Rock. The match ends when Show chokeslams The Rock on the commentary table, and pins him with a simple boot.

I could kick out of that. *please don't hurt me, Paul Wight.*

At this moment, Triple H intervenes for no reason again, and boy, do they have an Attitude Era-level ruckus when Foley starts throwing 'bows as well.

Meanwhile, Michael Cole interviews Al Snow about how Big Boss Man has his Chihuahua, Pepper. During this commercial break, look up that storyline, and you'll see why there's less said the better about that.

Then, a segment with Al Snow and The Big Boss Man.

This week on Smackdown!: Al Snow is tricked into eating Pepper. Also see: Big Show's Dad.

The Rock is angry in the locker room.

When we come back, we see PREVIOUSLY ON WRESTLING, Chris Jericho put the Walls of Jericho on Road Dogg, compressing a disc in his back and putting him out for a long time.

That leads to X-Pac vs. Taka of Kai En Tai. The highlight of the match is Taka telling X-Pac to "suck it" in Japanese. Most of the match is for JR and Jerry Lawler to drive home the fact that X-Pac is bummed about how his tag team with Kane is going and how he is the suck side of that coin.

X-Pac comes out on top, because he was fighting a member of Kai En Tai. He gets jumped by Funaki, then they run off.

Not shown: Jerry Lawler's respect for other cultures.

Michael Cole does a ring-side interview for some reason, which just goes to show why you don't shove a microphone in the face of someone doing a bunch of acrobatics for the last 6 minutes.

In a quick backstage shot before the next commercial break, Blue World Order, Droz & Albert, and Viscera & Mideon are all upset about not being in the next match.

The Slam of the Week is brought to you by Magic: the Gathering, which I'm sure delighted this teenage nerd.

My actual coffee table right now.

The final match of the first hour of RAW is a four corner elimination match to be the #1 contenders for the WWF Tag Team Titles.

First, Edge & Christian come out of the audience, as Edge & Christian are want to do. The Hardy Boyz follow with their typical high energy entrance at the time. The Acolytes (Bradshaw and Farooq) follow, then the Hollies (Hardcore and Crash).

However, Droz & Albert, Viscera & Mideon, and Blue Meanie & Stevie Richards rush the ring and create a tableau I like to call, "Attitude Era."

This is what The Attitude Era looked like all. The. Time.

Join us next time on Basket of Tapes where we look into the second hour of this episode of RAW!