JCW Lunacy Episode 4, by PaperClip Mike

Whoop, and may I also add…whoop! What is good clowns of all colors? It is the ‘Office Supply Juggalo’, Paperclip Mike. Now it has been a few weeks since the last episode, and I apologize. If you read my most recent post about my trip to Boston, ya boy got a little burned out. But we are back with episode four of Lunacy Legacy! We had us one hell of an episode last time, too. We had the second part of what seems to be an intense rivalry between Dani Mo and Alice Crowley, the first (and hopefully last) appearance of Ultimate Ellsworth, Kongo Kong decimating even more poor souls, and James Storm turning on the Brothers of Funstruction and aligning himself with the Southern Six. Time to see what craziness happens as we are ready for some…

The show opens with the Brothers of Funstruction backstage, still reeling from what happened to them at the end of the last episode. Joe Galli pops in with the safest “What the fuck is up with James Storm?” They get serious for a second and tell Storm to pick any member of TS6, and they will put the titles on the line. Looks like we got a tag title match tonight! Here comes the intro! We go right to our first match.

Kongo Kong w/Eric Smalls vs. Santana Jackson

In a sort of challenge after what happened last week, we get these two men ready to do battle. But…what the hell?! Jackson has transformed into a werewolf! Instead of a Thriller zombie, we got lycanthropy action. So right off the jump, we have a savage versus a werewolf Michael Jackson impersonator. Apparently, Santana is stronger as a werewolf, as he spears Kongo to the mat as the commentary team loses its shit. He then does some dance moves into an elbow drop before taking the mask off. Perhaps that isn't a good idea. Well, I guess I was proven right as he goes for the Moonwalk DDT, but is countered into a Kong sitout piledriver for the quick win.

Back from break and Joe Galli is backstage looking like your grandma’s couch as he runs into JCW OG, Madman Pondo. Pondo, with his trusty baseball bat with the attached saw blade, tells Joe that he knows what Juggalos want more than anything else, and that is violence. We then go to the first deathmatch on Lunacy…

Mad Man Pondo vs. Dimitri Alexander

This match was previously recorded from a show in San Antonio. Alexander, known as ‘Deathmatch Jesus, is making his entrance and has a bundle of light tubes that get smacked against a ringpost. Some of them bust, causing a “You fucked up” chant from the crowd. The match starts with a bat fight. Pondo with his aforementioned bat as Alexander has a small plastic bat with fucking scissors attached to it! Pondo wins the fight with a shot to the gut and then runs the saw blade down Alexander’s back! MMP then grabs a light tube, puts it between Dimitri’s legs, and kicks it, breaking the tube. Pondo grabs another one, but Dimitri counters and clotheslines it into Pondo.

Alexander then grabs his scissors bat and digs it into the forehead of his opponent, busting open MMP. He then follows it up with a light tube broken over Pondo’s head. Then, the men trade blows in the middle of the ring before Pondo fakes him out and kicks Dimitri down low. Pondo grabs a keyboard and crashes it over Alexander’s head as keys fly everywhere. Out comes a staple gun as MMP staples a dollar bill to Dimitri’s ass. He retaliates by stapling a dollar to Pondo’s head.

Pondo is able to trip Alexander back first onto an open folding chair, then shoots a staple into the pood guy’s nut sack! MMP then pulls a knife from his boot and stabs Dimitri with it on the top of his head. Pondo then uses it to slice him across the forehead, then even cutting him across his mouth! Alexander is able to fight back and get Pondo sitting in the corner, following it up with a dropkick to light tubes against MMP.

Alexander smacks MMP with a couple more lighttubes. He grabs a few more to put on the mat, but Pondo starts fighting back. It looked like Alexander tried a sort of powerslam onto the tubes, but MMP kicks out. Dimitri then sets a door up between two open chairs. Pondo is able to fight back and put Dimitri onto the door with a couple of light tube buindles, before coming off the top rope for the win.

Back from break, and Joe Galli is backstage at the merch table with JCW champ, Willie Mack. Willie is giving Matt Cross another shot at the JCW world title tonight. He says the first match was just an appetizer. Willie says he has been watching Matt since Willie was coming up, and he wants to give the Juggalos and Juggalettes one hell of a match.

Back to the ring and out comes Eric Smalls with his other large men in his stead, the Redwood Giants. Eric says they could easily kick anybody’s ass, so they pull a couple of Juggalos out of the crowd. One of the poor chaps gets a massive double chokeslam as the three men leave the ring,

Joe Galli is now with Violent J backstage in one of those locker room-style trailers, with Violent J as The Southern Six busts in. Silas Mason might be one of the funnier guys on this show. They want Silas to get the title shot instead of Matt Cross. Violent J says Silas will be in line after this match.

JCW World Title Match: Willie Mack vs. Matt Cross

Good show of sportsmanship between the men as we start.Back and forth from both men as Willie goes for a top rope swanton early and misses, putting Matt in control. Cross tries to trade chops with Willie, but it goes about as well as you expect. Willie caught Cross as he went for a cartwheel move, but Cross was able to counter and slam Willie. Matt went for a split-legged moonsault, but Willie got the knees up.

Mack answers with a lariat and a pop-up into a right hand for a close two-count. Willie hits a gorgeous standing moonsault and nearly gets it. Matt is able to block a stunner and land a springboard cutter of his own. Cross goes to the top as Alex Taylor of The Southern Six comes out and pushes Matt from the top, leading to a Mack stunner for the win. There was a lot more that happened in this match, but it was so fast and furious that it was hard to keep up. Great match.

Willie was pissed because this was not his doing. He explained to Cross what had happened, and they hugged it out, still showing each other respect

Back to the show, and Joe Galli is backstage at a bar with James Storm. Joe asked Storm why he stabbed the Brothers of Funstruction in the back. Storm responds, wondering how he did that. He says they were not his brothers, friends, or anything. He said all you had to do was ruffle some feathers to get a tag title shot. Joe asks him who his partner is, and Storm responds by being a prick to him. This was great, Storm is low-key underrated, funny as hell.

We have the latest episode of Shaggy’s Spotlight as they look at the Redwood Giants. So it looks like we might see more of them going forward. I like it.

Back again, and we get Joe with the Brothers of Funstruction, and we find out James Storm’s partner will be Kerry Morton. The clowns tell James and Kerry to watch out; they have targets on their backs.

JCW World Tag Titles: Brothers of Funstruction vs. James Storm and Kerry Morton

The champs come out first, with the entire Southern Six next. The BOF wastes no time and starts brawling with them right at the entrance. Joe Galli was not partial. He had me rolling as he said not only ‘Don’t break my monitor, but beat his ass!' and ‘Spank that bitch!’ The fact that the commentary team does not hide that they can be partial really works for me in JCW.

Joe then gets in an argument with Silas Mason over the headsets, and I love it so much. The match instantly dissolved into a street fight with the Brothers in full control. Kerry is able to bring a door into the ring after many minutes of all four men fighting. Yabbo is taking it to Morton before James Storm comes in to take over. James hits the Eye of the Storm for a close two-count.

Storm goes to spray bear in the eyes of Yabbo, who ducks, and Kerry Morton gets sprayed. Ruffo comes in and drops Storm with a Samoan drop. The BOF then hit Kerry with a double flapjack as Silas Mason comes down to the ring. Ruffo goes for the cover but Mason pulls the ref out of the ring. Mason then comes in and spears Yabbo into the door put up in the corner. The door bends but does not break. Storm then lands the Last Call onto Ruffo and puts Kerry on top for the win. We have new tag champs! The crowd goes ballistic as the show ends.

Thanks to everyone for coming to the return of my coverage of JCW Legacy. You can find the rest of the bWo and me on all of our socials. Also, follow our non-wrestling YT channel, The Group Project. See you all for the next episode.